Darren Rovell is a fascinating creature. Sometimes I’m not entirely convinced that he is a real human and instead we are all a part of a social experiment to see how we respond to this creature. To give Rovell credit, he was very early to Twitter and was tweeting click-baity viral content before almost anyone on the internet which got him to 2+ million followers. Unfortunately for Darrell, that also gave him WAY too large of a platform and inflated his ego to the point of no return. He went from posting the difference in UNC and Duke’s pantones or the value of Nick Saban drinking a Diet Coke in a post-game press conference to tweeting hot takes or ridiculous videos and then arguing with 2+ million people about them on a near-Olbermann level of batshittery.
The other major heel turn for Darnell was moving away from his nerdy ESPN job to try to become “Cool Darren” and work in the gambling space for the Action Network. This caused him to attempt to appeal to a new audience and pretend to be an expert on a topic that he knows frighteningly little (and has seemingly taken a step back from because of this fact). 2013 Darren Rovell made some innocent stupid tweets that we could all joke about and say that it was “just Darren being Darren” but 2022 Darren Rovell seems to be a much more sinister character that is either just completely out of touch or intentionally stirring up drama for attention (most likely a combo of both). It would take years of studying and multiple degrees for anyone to really understand how the brain of Darren Rovell operates, so instead, let’s just laugh at all the stupid and crazy shit he’s done on the internet over the past decade.
The Time Darren Told Marvin Jones Jr. His Wife’s Bakery Was an Awful Business Decision
With the perfect Darren follow-up…
The Time Darren Called Leonard Fournette and Dalvin Cook Stupid
The Time a Guy Killed His Wife and Darren Felt Bad for Nike
The Time Darren Told College Gymnasts They Couldn’t Celebrate Being the #2 Team in the Country
At least he did it for his children…
The Time Darren Told Someone Their Recently Deceased Father’s Baseball Card Collection was Fucking Trash (my personal favorite)
The Time Darren Laughed at SEC Fans Because Their Friends and Family Died
and the time he laughed at SEC fans for being fat…
The Time Darren Compared Kids at Home During COVID to Anne Frank
I’ll give Rovell credit for one thing, he doesn’t delete all of his awful tweets but this is one of the rare ones that did catch the delete from Darren.
The TWO Times Darren Doxxed People Online
Darren sending a tweet to the dean of someone’s college for the most obvious non-serious comment of all-time is a Mt. Rushmore awful thing Darren has done.
The Time Darren Talked About How the Best Day of His Life was the Worst Day of Bill Buckner’s Life on the Day Bill Buckner Died
The Time Darren Got Bodied by T. Boone Pickens After Darren Poor-Shamed Him
The Time Darren Said a 23-year-old Female Athlete She Had a Bottom Rung Personality
The Time Darren Shamed Jeff Bezos for Donating 100 MILLION DOLLARS to Charity and Got Bodied By Said Charity
The Time Darren Posted JFK’s Assassination in High-Def 5K Video
The Time Rovell Got Bodied By a Random Twitter User About NFL Jerseys
The Time Darren Ran the 40-Yard Dash
The Time Darren Made a Fake Twitter Account for Big Cat’s Baby Immediately After Big Cat Asked People to Not Make Content About His Baby
This might actually be the creepiest thing he’s ever done.
The Time Darren Was Still in Love with His Crush From When He Was 3-Years-Old
Married man being obsessed with his crush from when he was 3 is so weird on so many levels.
The Time Darren Horrified America by Singing “One Shining Moment”
This will give the strongest of men nightmares.
The Time Darren Was Suspended by ESPN For Fat-Shaming
This one is wild. It’s the one tweet Darren has gotten in actual trouble for and also might be his only funny tweet ever. This is the PERFECT Rovell tweet in my eyes.
The Time Darren Wasn’t Racist Because He Owns MLK Collectibles
This is Darren’s most recent cringe and is what inspired this whole blog. I own MLK collectibles is “I have a black friend” to the one-millionth degree. Let’s dive into his defense of this one to wrap up the blog.
Darren shared his favorite MLK memorabilia piece which is his signatures from the jail in which he was imprisoned for being black. Darren also shared who he bought it from:
OH MY! Darren defending himself by saying the family of the definitely racist warden that wrongly imprisoned MLK profited off the memorabilia is some lack of awareness.
At least Darren offered to LOAN it to the Smithsonian but no way is he giving it up without securing the bag first.
Amazing. Let’s end it with Darren’s voice which is somehow worse than his written word.
That was painful. I’ve been blocked by Darren for over a year now so I miss most of his content unless it’s something as major as the MLK thing (fine with me). However, sometimes I do miss being able to cringe and troll in the replies because this man truly is one of a kind on the internet. Cheers to you, Darrell.