One of the most special betting weeks of the year is upon us. Feast Week in college hoops, Thanksgiving day NFL action, Rivalry Week to end the college football regular season, and much much more. I am going to break down all of my bets in both college football and the NFL and give out my annual tips on how to be a degenerate gambler around the holidays.
Before we get into all of that… let’s hit the updated YTD numbers:
CFB YTD: 104-98-6 (-0.98u)
NFL YTD: 54-40-2 (+9.47u)
Football YTD: 158-138-8 (+8.49u)
It has been a slow climb back to even in college football but after two short winning weeks, just a 1u profit this week would lead us into the black on the season just in time to rip off a run in the conference championship games and Bowl SZN. It has also been a very profitable past couple of weeks in the NFL that is starting to hike that number up. It’s a massive card for me in both leagues this weekend but before that… let’s quickly hit the Degen Thanksgiving breakdown.
Top 5 Thanksgiving Day Traditions
- John Madden handing out the turkey leg award after the Thanksgiving game
- Going to the bathroom to check scores during the meal
- “Taking a walk” with your cousins
- Your racist uncle says something wildly inappropriate after his 3rd bourbon which forces your mom to enforce rules about what can be discussed at the table
- Do an early morning grocery run so you can get out of helping out the rest of the day while the games are on
Thanksgiving Schedule
10:00 AM- Offer to make a morning grocery run for the family. There will be no time for chores or errands or any of that bullshit once the games start at 12:30. So by helping out here, you can get some alone time and then use this as an excuse all day to not have to help with anything else.
11:00 AM- Pour your first drink of the day. I personally will be going screwdriver in this time slot, but you can’t go wrong with a mimosa, bloody mary, or even an ice-cold beer.
12:00 PM- This might be the most important step of all: I know it’s hard, but try to have all your bets in for the day before the first game starts and before you start drinking heavily. When you’ve had a few beers and are looking for any possible excuse to avoid your family, it’s easy to start betting the o/u on Dak Prescott rushing yards but that’s how you end up losing all your money by dinner time and taking your anger out on your least favorite cousin. Get the action in early and just enjoy the day.
12:30 PM- The first NFL game of the day kicks off with Packers/Lions and we actually have a good Lions team to bet on this year. Maybe this kicks off a new Turkey Day tradition of actually betting ON the Lions and not fading them.
3:30 PM- The first NFL game ends. You’ve had several dad beers. Depending on when your family does the meal, this could be the witching hour in the kitchen. Everything is close to being done and it’s now a madhouse to try to get everything ready at the same time. It is the perfect time to find an upstairs bathroom, toss in a Zyn, clear out the system before the big meal, and look at Instagram stories of everyone else’s Thanksgiving plates just so you can complain about how you don’t care at all.
4:30 PM- Second NFL game of the day. We’re starting to feel it now. You don’t even feel nervous about trusting Dak in a nationally televised game. Go Boys.
5:00 PM- Dinner is served. If you can, try to score a seat at the table where you can see the TV. If your family is one of those groups that makes it so the TV has to be totally off, maybe find a new family.
6:30 PM- You’ve eaten more than even you thought you could. You feel sick to your stomach and you can’t tell if you’re too drunk, too full, or if it’s because Dak has thrown two gross picks since you started eating (HINT: it’s all three). Take a nap on the couch.
7:30 PM- Egg Bowl time. You are awoken from your nap by a beautiful tribute to Mike Leach that plays before the game. You wipe a very manly pirate tear out of your eye and get ready to watch the annual madness that is the Egg Bowl.
8:20 PM- Hopefully you’re back home or wherever you’re staying for the night and don’t have to worry about pretending to socialize anymore. Get the Egg Bowl on one screen, 49ers/Seahawks on the other, and fall asleep with a Great Lakes Christmas Ale in your hand as Brock Purdy cooks the fraudulent Seahawks. If it’s a blowout, hopefully, Pete Carroll’s rhythmic gum chomping will soothe you back to sleep.
2:16 AM- Wake up in a cold sweat on the couch wondering what happened, where you are, and how much you’re going to have to win the rest of the weekend to make back your biggest bet of the day which for some reason was on Brian Robinson Jr. to score 2+ TDs.
Bonus Tips:
-When your family asks why you’re so invested in a Lions/Packers game, tell them it’s because of fantasy football. Even cool families can get weird if you talk about gambling.
-Find the cool uncle/cousin/parent who knows you gamble and hopefully gambles themselves so you can vent with them throughout the day. You’ll need the support.
-Sprinkle in CBB bets during every football slate so you have something to watch in case one of the games is awful.
-In all seriousness, eat all you can eat, drink all you can drink, and bet whatever you’re willing to lose because it truly is one of the most special days of the year. Enjoy the family time and the sports galore- you CAN do both and you’ll regret missing out on either aspect.
Full Betting Card
All 1u unless specified
NCAAF
0.5u Central Michigan +10.5 vs. Toledo
TCU +10.5 @ Oklahoma
Nebraska (-105) vs. Iowa
UTSA +3.5 @ Tulane
Mizzou/Louisville/Utah MLP (-109)
Texas -13.5 vs. TTU
Oregon State +14 @ Oregon
1.5u Ohio State +3.5 @ Michigan
VT -2.5 @ UVA
Auburn +15 vs. Bama
Auburn 1H ML (+285)
Maryland -1 @ Rutgers
USF/Illinois MLP (+109)
Washington TT o41.5
Jax State -125 @ NMSU
1.5u South Carolina +7.5 vs. Clemson
CFB Round Robin- TCU +315/Missouri -310/Ohio State +136/Florida +198/South Carolina +230
NFL
49ers -1/Lions -1.5 Teaser
Cowboys/Ravens/Dolphins MLP (+117)
Texans +2 vs. Jags
Bengals +1 vs. Steelers
0.5u Tits/Panthers u37
Texans +7.5/Browns +8.5 Teaser
Giants +9/Chiefs -2.5 Teaser
2u Bills +3.5 @ Eagles
Bears +3.5 @ Vikings
Hopefully, this is some helpful advice for all of you beautiful people. I appreciate all of the support from the people who have been reading these all year, listening to the podcast and following along. Let’s have a big weekend, a big bowl SZN, and beyond. And as always…
Blakey Locks 