Here I am writing to you on October 12th, 2017 at 2:00 AM because I just can’t sleep. Why can’t I sleep do you ask? Because the god damn New York Jets are 3-2 and this Sunday they are hosting the Patriots, who have the exact same record. I couldn’t tell you the last time the Jets were above the Patriots in the AFC East standings after five weeks of the season but that’s where we are right now.

This team:

has the same record as the team that did this just eight months ago:



Now will the Jets lose 45-3 off of 6 Brady touchdowns and 10 Josh McCown interceptions? Most likely, yes. But if you would’ve told me at the beginning of the season the Jets would be hosting the Patriots for first place 1/3 of the way through the season I would’ve called you batshit crazy. So why can’t something even more batshit happen on Sunday?

Despite being absolute polar opposite franchises the past 20 years the Jets have always been good for one huge upset of the Patriots at least once every couple years.

2010 playoffs

(Never forget that “On way to the AFC title game, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez showed more poise than MVP favorite Tom Brady” was ever a real headline for a website not called The Onion.)

So, the McCown led Jets will look to defend their home turf against Brady and move to the top of the AFC East. My personal goal for the game is just to make Patriots fans have to sweat for a couple quarters but I know even those chances are quite low. But despite the fact that they’re really just an atrocious football team, they’ve found ways to win games. Maybe they will again on Sunday.

We’re on to New England.