There are a lot of different opinions on Bowl SZN. Some people think it’s pointless. Some people think it shows how soft kids are these days with opt-outs. Real gamblers like the good folks reading this know that it is both a great time to make a big profit and to appreciate the real sicko aspect of college football. Last year we saw South Carolina beat Sam Howell’s UNC team with a WR playing QB. We have seen coaches get dumped in mayo, french fries, and all sorts of strange objects.
Back in 2019 we even had a fake company sponsor the New Mexico Bowl:
It is time for all of us to revel in the sicko-ness that is Bowl SZN. Without further ado, here are the definitive 2022 Bowl Sponsor rankings.
SEVENTH TIER- YUCK
The fact that any of these exist is gross.
41. Jimmy Kimmel LA Bowl: I don’t know how it came to be that Jimmy Kimmel got his own bowl game. No one man should have all that power, but definitely not the cheesy late-night host who did full blackface. Cancel this bowl game immediately.
40. Transperfect Music City Bowl: Don’t like to get political with my bowl game names so this comes in near the bottom. Also, nobody is perfect so…
39. Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl: Shoutout Dick Cheney.
38. Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl: I don’t know what this company does but it sounds like something that kills innocent children.
SIXTH TIER- NO SPONSORS
Having no sponsor is better than having an awful sponsor. But it won’t take you further than Tier Six.
37. Frisco Bowl– I have nothing to say.
36. New Mexico Bowl– Walter White, I guess?
35. Myrtle Beach Bowl– This game doesn’t even take place in Myrtle Beach. I’m not joking, look it up.
34. Bahamas Bowl– The Bahamas are cool I guess!
33. Camellia Bowl– I had to Google this to learn that a camellia is a flower and this wasn’t a company.
FIFTH TIER- NOT REAL COMPANIES
If any of these turned out to be fake companies I would not be surprised in the least.
32. RoofClaim.com Boca Raton Bowl– Roof Claim.
31. Military Bowl presented by Peraton– I’m guessing Peraton makes nukes or something.
30. TicketSmarter Birmingham Bowl– I have like 10 ticket apps on my phone and I have never heard of TicketSmarter. Fake.
29. TaxAct Texas Bowl– Is this a bill in Congress or a bowl game,,, folks???
28. UnionHome Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl– Just wildly lame.
27. R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl– What are they carrying??
26. Guaranteed Rate Bowl– I know Guaranteed Rate is where the White Sox play but I still think it’s fake.
25. SERVPRO First Responder Bowl– Bonus points for all caps get them into the top 25.
24. SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl– This is the fakest company by far.
FOURTH TIER- NOT BAD
These are just kind of meh. I don’t get super pumped about any of these but don’t they make me angry.
23. LendingTree Bowl– Good company name tbh.
22. Valero Alamo Bowl– I love the smell of gasoline.
21. Vrbo Fiesta Bowl– Hotels are better than Airbnb/Vrbo and if you disagree you’re a loser.
20. Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl– If Big Cat skydives onto the field I will move this into the top 10.
19. easypost Hawaii Bowl– I don’t know what easypost is but I was intrigued enough by their lack of capital letters.
18. AutoZone Liberty Bowl– IN THE ZONE! AUTOZONE!
17. QuickLane Bowl– Another company that could do really anything but I like the name.
16. Reliaquest Tampa Bay Bowl– This is a brand new bowl sponsor and had to replace a top-5 sponsor in Outback. However, I am a fan of Reliaquest and they crack the top 20 (I don’t know what they do either).
15. San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl– I love this name for some reason. It is so ridiculously long and wordy for the name of a sporting event that I have to respect it.
14. Duluth Trading Cure Bowl– I love these commercials. Duluth Trading Company is the Sam Elliott of bowl sponsors.
THIRD TIER- THE CLASSIC CORPORATE TIER
These aren’t the coolest companies but they have sponsored big bowl games for so long that their name makes me feel good.
13. Allstate Sugar Bowl- The president from 24 is the best commercial guy of all time.
12. Capital One Orange Bowl– Capital One owns Bowl SZN in my head. Also, the bowl full of oranges is my favorite bowl trophy.
10. Goodyear Cotton Bowl– Another classic.
11. Rose Bowl presented by Capital One Venture X– Capital One Venture X is better than regular Capital One. Also, the Rose Bowl is too classy to be the Capital One Venture X. You just get to present the Rose Bowl.
SECOND TIER- ALMOST ELITE
These are fantastic.
9. Wasabi Fenway Bowl– I learned that Wasabi is a company and not just the thing I’m afraid to touch when I get sushi because it makes my throat feel funny. Great bowl name.
8. TaxSlayer Gator Bowl– TaxSlayer is the best lame company name of all time. If you are going to be a group of lame-ass accountants, at least call yourself TaxSlayer.
7. Cheez-It Bowl- The Cheez-It Bowl has a special place in every degen’s heart because of the 2018 game between TCU and Cal. Also, Cheez-Its are amazing. Better than Goldfish.
6. Cheez-It Citrus Bowl- Cheez-It joins Capital One as the only sponsor with two bowl games. This time they upgraded and sponsored a major bowl game in the Citrus. Congrats Cheez-It!
5. Chick Fil A Peach Bowl– Everybody loves Chick Fil A. It’s amazing. And they are the perfect sponsor for Atlanta’s bowl game.
TOP TIER- THE BEST OF THE BEST
4. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl– This is a long-time favorite of mine. The bowl full of potatoes that the winner gets, the fact that they consider their potatoes famous, it’s all great.
3. Duke’s Mayo Bowl– Duke’s Mayo has become famous thanks to last year’s mayo dump on Shane Beamer and the broadcasters dipping various food items in mayo during the broadcast. Welcome to the top 3, Duke’s Mayo. RIP Hellman’s.
2. Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl– This one is awesome. They easily could have called it the Frosted Flakes Bowl and it would still probably be top 10. But some marketing genius made it the Tony the Tiger Bowl instead. Just fantastic.
NUMBER ONE. Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl– THEY’RE BACKKKKKKK! After a several-year hiatus, the king has returned. Bad Boy Mowers was always #1 when they sponsored the Gasparilla Bowl. Then they simply vanished. Now they are back and they mean business. They now. sponsor the Pinstripe Bowl played at that spirit-less museum that is Yankee Stadium. The venue may be trash but we are happy to have you back Bad Boy Mowers.
That’s all! Make sure to sound off in the replies on Twitter if you disagree with any of these takes, although none of them are wrong. If you haven’t been already, make sure you are following me on the Action app where I have already logged a ton of bowl bets. Let’s make it a great Bowl SZN, folks.