So I just got back from a trip to New York City and while I was on my flight home I was thinking about this poll that Uncle Chaps posted a couple weeks ago.
It then led to some friendly Twitter dot com discourse.
Trill Withers decided to proclaim to the public that he was a “big time recliner.” Luckily, Ezombieal Elliot decided to come in and defend us tall folk. Now I personally don’t consider 6’+ to be #TallGuyTwitter (more 6’4+ imho) but there is strength in numbers so I’ll take Ezombieal on my team for this one.
What Withers said next was astounding.
This is the type of prejudice that just shouldn’t exist in the Year of our Lord 2018. I was disgusted that somebody I previously respected could have such an opinion. Luckily, one of the forefathers of #TallGuyTwitter came to the rescue.
Thank you for your service, Mo.
Well, all of this had me thinking on my flight home from New York and I have compiled the list of best defenses for tall guys (and tall ladies) on the plane.
1. The Knees in the Back
Credit where credit is due, Mo nailed this one. It’s the classic move for a reason. When your knees already barely fit behind the seat in front of you then recliners get what is coming to them. The key is to have the knees already dug in as they begin to recline so they can feel the resistance. The weak of the recliners will either come back up or stop there. The next level of recliners will turn around to look, some out of actual curiosity, some just to be passive aggressive. This is the key moment for any tall guy. You can’t give in here. Don’t move. Don’t even acknowledge them. Just look straight ahead and keep your knees where they are. The last level of recliners will push back through your knees and their full body weight will beat your knees if they really want to. Then you just will continue to push the knees in throughout the flight and they will not be comfortable. That is a tall guy guarantee.
2. The Tray Table/TV
Luckily when the Wright Brothers invented the airplane they knew that tall guys would be in this tiff with recliners so they invented two things that would help us out: the tray table and the back of the chair TV. When Muriel from Iowa reclines herself back into your lap and you think you have no defense, think again my friend. I love the hard screen tapping on the games from Mo. Whether it be Solitaire, Blackjack, or trivia you can smash the buttons on the screen and I promise Muriel will feel that on the back of her head the whole flight. Your other option is the tray table. Whether it be for your drinks, snacks, laptop, or just to push it back up, you can make any excuse to put the table down. Then when you go to put it back up you can push it HARD into the chair because “you gotta push it up that hard to lock it in.” Feel free to put the tray up and down as many times as you deem necessary.
3. Straight Savagery
Now maybe I’m just a total pussy but the above choices are the only ones that I have tried personally. But #TallGuyTwitter came out of the woodwork to join in on this hot debate and they had some wild stories.
Hell yeah, Tom. Get germs all up on their head.
First of all, maybe I’m out of the loop but I had no idea yanking out nose hairs caused a sneeze. I also don’t think I could pull out a nose hair if I wanted to… this guy must have some strings dangling out of his schnoz. But I commend his effort to the cause.
So overall, people have the right to recline (even though it’s a disgusting act) but tall guys also have a right to fight back with a vengeance. So maybe the next time you’re on a plane, take a look at the person behind you before you lean back. Us tall guys (and gals) go through enough during our flying experience without having to deal with recliners. And if you’re a member of #TallGuyTwitter I hope this inspires you to stand up for yourself in the future.
Thank you all for your time.
P.S. These are the three other most annoying things about flying as a tall guy that normies may not realize:
- Having to bend your body at a 90-degree angle to be able to stand up in the bathroom
- Getting your knee bashed by the cart or a person walking in the aisle if it’s poking out at all
- Not being able to even lay your head back because it’s too far above the headrest